Discussions often consist of questions and answers. Some require excessive questions in their
effort to understand situations. It is
critical that leaders understand the circumstances, issues and activities
leading toward potential business relationships or project developments. Teams or potential business partners may be
on the receiving end of the questions.
Sometimes the questions are more probing and aggressive while at other
times they are simple and seeking information only.
Take for example the recent barrage of questions in Poland asked
of Mitt Romney on July 31, 2012. The
questions got rather aggressive and sounded more like probing gaffes rather
than collecting information. Reporters
are always trying their hardest to get a news story even if it means creating
the news. Interestingly the location of
the questioning was on a site that was sacred to the country. Whether this was the issue or one of Romney’s
advisors got upset, the responses started to become aggressive. The result of verbal exchanges later
triggered apologies from the advisor to the reporters later.
Questioning always has the potential to sound aggressive and
probing. People will interpret the
questions as attacking or probing based on personalities and current
situations. It is not possible to be
politically correct every time and it is difficult to control emotions when feeling
attacked. The person asking the
questions may be attacking but they may also be probing to gain a better
understanding. It is in this middle
ground that confusion and possible incorrect responses may arise.
Responses may equally seem aggressive or inappropriate. The person asking questions may feel clear
and precise answers to questions are possible.
The interpretation of the questions by the listener may be far different
from the actual intent of the question.
Many times when answering, the response contains information for what
the listener thought was being asked. Interpretation
of questions is rather common and result in answers different from what the
questioner was expecting.
The ability to communicate in this difficult situation takes a
greater effort because no one wants to be communicative when feeling
attached. The protection mechanisms rev
up and tensions become excessive. This occurs
between family members, team members at work, prospective partners, and most
anyone. Making an effort to understand
the goals of the questions and respond to provide information that is useful
and direct is very important. Listener
may not accurately interpret a question and the questioner may become
frustrated and start sounding more aggressive.
A good leader learns to be a good listener and to monitor the emotion
of the other parties. Engaging in an
exchange requires attention to detail and prevention of miscommunication or at
least the correction of problems early.
It is easy to look like the bad person and have those you are talking to
shut down. Make every effort to listen
with care and understand questions. Try
to interpret when the intent is being aggressive and mean spirited and when the
questions are just seeking information. Sometimes
the difference is hard to detect. The overall objective is communication and
understanding, not fighting.



